Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
