Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I just gift wrapped bread.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
