I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
He did a backflip because drugs
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
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