Sry I called you an 8
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize