I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
That was before I lit my hair on fire
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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