And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
