i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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