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• (949): View more from California

  Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami

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• (678): View more from Georgia

  I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.

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• (617): View more from Massachusetts

  thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice

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• (330): View more from Ohio

  would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.

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  19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (940): View more from Texas

  I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....

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• (815): View more from Illinois

  I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night

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• (856): View more from New Jersey

  It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.

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• (917): View more from New York City

  Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.

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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.

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  25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To

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• (870): View more from Arkansas

  No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.

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• (716): View more from New York

  Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.

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• (901): View more from Tennessee

  So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?

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• (302): View more from Delaware

  Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning

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• (805): View more from California

  I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens

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