Texts From Last Night

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  (815): View more from Illinois

  i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.

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  (815): i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed. http://tfl.nu/wp0k
  Replies (68) Good night (971) Bad night (9926)
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  (845): View more from New York

  I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing

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  (845): I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing http://tfl.nu/4411
  Replies (24) Good night (5449) Bad night (1339)
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  (636): View more from Missouri

  So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.

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  (636): So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned. http://tfl.nu/elt7
  Replies (38) Good night (2721) Bad night (6403)
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  (940): View more from Texas

  Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night

  (1-940): View more from Texas

  I don't have a cat..?

  (940): View more from Texas

  Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.

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  (940): Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night (1-940): I don't have a cat..? (940): Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge. http://tfl.nu/uym0
  Replies (13) Good night (1681) Bad night (5335)
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  (319): View more from Iowa

  Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.

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  (319): Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up. http://tfl.nu/ktvf
  Replies (17) Good night (5188) Bad night (968)
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  (561): View more from Florida

  A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night

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  (561): A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night http://tfl.nu/8aub
  Replies (6) Good night (2983) Bad night (785)
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata

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  (313): Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata http://tfl.nu/0yl6
  Replies (5) Good night (2423) Bad night (756)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.

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  (202): he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever. http://tfl.nu/t5e0
  Replies (18) Good night (5571) Bad night (788)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.

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  (406): Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun. http://tfl.nu/sore
  Replies (1) Good night (920) Bad night (821)
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  (210): View more from Texas

  please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi

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  (210): please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi http://tfl.nu/ocwi
  Replies (3) Good night (1302) Bad night (555)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though

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  (512): I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though http://tfl.nu/zufj
  Replies (2) Good night (1267) Bad night (494)
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.

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  (515): I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter. http://tfl.nu/6fb4
  Replies (1) Good night (532) Bad night (400)
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  (212): View more from New York

  He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?

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  (212): He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn? http://tfl.nu/0euf
  Replies (3) Good night (1313) Bad night (337)
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  (308): View more from Nebraska

  Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.

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  (308): Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator. http://tfl.nu/h4v1
  Replies (2) Good night (280) Bad night (833)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."

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  (330): Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you." http://tfl.nu/2ygo
  Replies (0) Good night (303) Bad night (306)

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