Texts From Last Night

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  (703): View more from Virginia

  help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.

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  (703): help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help. http://tfl.nu/t5wn
  Replies (11) Good night (627) Bad night (1501)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.

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  (508): I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo. http://tfl.nu/92km
  Replies (2) Good night (1076) Bad night (521)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  bitch so ugly she owes me an erection

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  (919): bitch so ugly she owes me an erection http://tfl.nu/ldn1
  Replies (29) Good night (793) Bad night (4694)
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  (510): View more from California

  Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.

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  (510): Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it. http://tfl.nu/5742
  Replies (15) Good night (3538) Bad night (1092)
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  (417): View more from Missouri

  This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.

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  (417): This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer. http://tfl.nu/gsk7
  Replies (10) Good night (3434) Bad night (927)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero

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  (410): he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero http://tfl.nu/dyje
  Replies (8) Good night (5387) Bad night (705)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on

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  (717): Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on http://tfl.nu/fp8y
  Replies (6) Good night (2821) Bad night (856)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.

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  (360): just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs. http://tfl.nu/bvji
  Replies (18) Good night (1841) Bad night (492)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.

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  (813): You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon. http://tfl.nu/vfo5
  Replies (7) Good night (861) Bad night (1540)
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  (925): View more from California

  But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point

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  (925): But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point http://tfl.nu/knq2
  Replies (5) Good night (1093) Bad night (620)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  wine lets you be on time to class apparently

  (619): View more from California

  This is a dangerous realization

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  (973): wine lets you be on time to class apparently (619): This is a dangerous realization http://tfl.nu/clwe
  Replies (4) Good night (1110) Bad night (843)
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  (765): View more from Indiana

  Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun

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  (765): Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun http://tfl.nu/oe4f
  Replies (9) Good night (989) Bad night (1858)
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  (563): View more from Iowa

  Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...

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  (563): Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before... http://tfl.nu/eiiu
  Replies (9) Good night (584) Bad night (1668)
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  (585): View more from New York

  I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower

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  (585): I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower http://tfl.nu/ravu
  Replies (0) Good night (611) Bad night (247)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.

  (469): View more from Texas

  Tequila happens.

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  (214): We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night. (469): Tequila happens. http://tfl.nu/nyc9
  Replies (2) Good night (528) Bad night (232)

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