Texts From Last Night

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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate

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  (202): if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate http://tfl.nu/kvt4
  Replies (3) Good night (1864) Bad night (703)
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  (936): View more from Texas

  Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.

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  (936): Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy. http://tfl.nu/jygh
  Replies (15) Good night (6552) Bad night (735)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?

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  (540): Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift? http://tfl.nu/ixd3
  Replies (53) Good night (1819) Bad night (5778)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.

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  (440): Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place. http://tfl.nu/kait
  Replies (25) Good night (24062) Bad night (1245)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?

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  (214): decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!? http://tfl.nu/ozc5
  Replies (31) Good night (9687) Bad night (1174)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.

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  (708): You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half. http://tfl.nu/enxi
  Replies (13) Good night (6555) Bad night (1267)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am

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  (703): She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am http://tfl.nu/kql6
  Replies (10) Good night (980) Bad night (4066)
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  (210): View more from Texas

  no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked

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  (210): no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked http://tfl.nu/pl9e
  Replies (10) Good night (3408) Bad night (1504)
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.

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  (920): I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up. http://tfl.nu/mqfc
  Replies (6) Good night (1690) Bad night (604)
• Favorite

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.

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  (832): Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles. http://tfl.nu/3k5e
  Replies (4) Good night (1694) Bad night (541)
• Favorite

  (252): View more from North Carolina

  He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.

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  (252): He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line. http://tfl.nu/pkvq
  Replies (6) Good night (633) Bad night (1002)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.

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  (214): I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick. http://tfl.nu/4v25
  Replies (8) Good night (1972) Bad night (584)
• Favorite

  (901): View more from Tennessee

  A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.

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  (901): A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird. http://tfl.nu/mrcn
  Replies (10) Good night (1333) Bad night (495)
• Favorite

  (706): View more from Georgia

  Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?

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  (706): Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit? http://tfl.nu/7qwr
  Replies (6) Good night (1239) Bad night (375)
• Favorite

  (916): View more from California

  Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.

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  (916): Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now. http://tfl.nu/po20
  Replies (0) Good night (332) Bad night (611)

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