i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
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Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
These 25 Women First Experienced Sexual Harassment At A Shocking Age
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
Pick me up at 9.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING