Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
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