it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
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And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.