Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
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