I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
You ate ashes out of my bong
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
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