Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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