There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
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The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
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