I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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