1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
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