Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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