this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
