My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
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