Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
I party with great urgency now.
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