You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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