I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Randomize
