having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
