drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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