My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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