Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Randomize
