Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Randomize
