Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
