im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I bet he comes in French.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Randomize
