He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
