My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Randomize
