It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Randomize