Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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