and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
