i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
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