its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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