i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
