She is in my trunk
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
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