Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Pants are for mortals
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