Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Randomize
