i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
