I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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