nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
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