How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
