While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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