I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
The chlamydia really affected his face.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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