I love black thongs
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Drunk is not a location!
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
