Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
P.S. I can't hear my feet
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Randomize
