Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
