I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
