ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I'm always down for nudity.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
