i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Randomize