I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
