I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize