Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Randomize
