I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
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