It's Friday. Sex?
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
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