There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
if only i could text you this smell
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Randomize
