So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
