When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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