You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
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